Failing a class in medical school.

I received notice from my school today. I failed a class. This is the first class I've ever failed in my life. When I got the email, I swore internally, but I wasn't surprised. I was unsure of 40 of my answers on a 90 question test. I hadn't slept the night before and was running on red bull. Truthfully, I got lazy. I got cocky.  Yes, I failed the MCAT, and yes it took me two tries to get into medical school, but I got cocky.  I felt like I could Netflix all I wanted, relax, drink with my friends, go out with the boyfriend and I'd still pass. I wasn't like *those* people. The people who failed, people who weren't smart enough or driven enough. What were they doing? How could they fail a class? This is med school.  Well, this is med school, and I did fail, and I deserved to fail.  I needed to get kicked off my high horse.  I'm in my second year of medical school and I am taking Step 1 this year.  A kick in the pants is what I needed.  Because I don't want to fail Step 1.

So what now?  I didn't wallow; I processed; life went on.  It is what it is.  As for my failure, I have to retake the exam.  

I'm not sure where to start, from the beginning I guess.  I know why I failed. I got lazy and cocky. So now I have to run on all 8 cylinders.  That means, blog hiatus.  It means leaving my phone at home.  It means staying at school for lunch instead of coming home and napping/netflixing. In fact, I'm canceling my Netflix subscription until 2014.  It means going to bed earlier, waking up earlier and doing work...all day.  Listening to pathoma while falling asleep instead of tv.  Listening to pathoma while cooking, getting ready, or eating. Flipping through notecards before bed and first thing in the morning.  Better get started. 

Wish me luck and Happy Thanksgiving!

25 Life Lessons I've Learned in 25 Years

This post was blowing up my facebook newsfeed this morning: 39 Life Lessons I've Learned in 39 Years and apparently the guy got his inspiration from another guy: 38 Life Lessons I've Learned in 28 Years, so taking my inspiration from both of them, here are 25 Life Lessons I've Learned in 25 Years.

Disclaimer: #7 from Jason Wachob is that you should only take advice from experts...so maybe keep that in mind when reading this post because I'm not an expert...in anything. ;)

1. Fall is the prettiest time of year.  This is a fact.
2. The right amount of sleep can be life-changing. 
3. Exercise is the worst.  You also have to do it.
4. Music makes everything better.  
5. Everybody can dance/Dance parties can change your mood.  If your day sucks, just jam out in your car/room.  Full volume.  Brownie points if someone joins you!
6. Kisses are great!  All kinds! We don't kiss as much as we should.  The world would be a better place if there were more forehead kisses, hand kisses, and cheek kisses.  
7. When you're in a bad mood, put some good in the world.
8. Fall in love with someone who makes you better.  I was in love with someone who made me jealous; I would get so jealous that I would be angry.  At everyone. All the time.  Then I met someone who made me want to be better, who inspires me with his kindness, who always did the right thing, and who genuinely put others first.  Fall in love with someone who makes you better. 
9. Don't swear.  It's not professional.  If you do swear, do it when no one is looking and make it an F-bomb.  
10. Don't do something you don't love.  If you have to do something you don't love, it should be on your way to doing something you do love.  How can you tell if you're doing something you love? When you're doing what you love, you don't need sleep; if you need sleep, you're not doing what you love.
11. Anger can be a great motivator, but don't let it consume you.  Channel that break-up sadness to something constructive.
12. Everybody's got something.  We all have our cross to bear, so bear yours and remember that others are bearing theirs.
13. When you're really mad at someone, light a candle for them and when it's burned out, let it go.
14. Don't give homeless people money, give them food, make eye contact, and say God Bless You.  
15. Sometimes, you don't have to say anything, just sit there.  We're taught to do this with patients.  Doctors are bad at it, but it's amazing when you just shut up and listen to someone.  I had a pulm professor who would say "God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason."  
16. Getting drunk is fun.  Getting stupid drunk is stupid. 
17. People will treat you the way you let them treat you.  Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."  There's compassion for others and there's letting people walk all over you.  You matter.  You is kind. You is smart. You is important.
18. Sometimes you just need to do the hermit thing (even if you're an extrovert) just to recharge.
19. Are you who you want to be?  Why the hell not?  Go be that person.
20. What do you want people to say about you?  Is that what they're saying?  If not, you got some 'splaining to do.
21. Find people to admire and to inspire you, surround yourself with them and learn from them. 
22. Inspire others.
23. Waking up is the worst.  Coffee is the best.
24. Forgive. 
25. Everything works out the way it's supposed to.  I believe this one.  Even when it seems like it will never work out.